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• Lonely wife want sex tonight Gravenhurst talking m4w I Am Terrified Of Nonexistence For the past few weeks, Ive been experiencing this feeling of dread and utter hopelessness when faced with the fact that when I die, theres a good chance that Imy consciousnesswill possibly not exist anymore. Every personal victory, thought and memory I have will completely cease to be. This feeling washes over me in waves and when it hits, I cant help but cry uncontrollably and fight to catch my breath.
  Yes. Im absolutely terrified of the very idea of it. I just spent a week having existential panic attacks as a result of this fear. Shortness of breath, extremities shaking, the whole nine yards, and Im feeling it even now as I type this.
  I swear, I feel like Im experiencing my own life in a flashback whenever I think about death, that I can feel future injuries and imagine the changes to my body from age. And then I realize that my parents will be gone long before me, and that scares me even more. I have friends, but my parents have always been there for me. Losing them would make me feel truly alone; not having my dad to laugh with or my mom to hug for no particular reason utterly petrifies me.
  The thought of death being inevitable is just man I cant even explain how it makes me feel. Knowing that someday you will die and you dont even know what will happen.I keep thinking one day there will be a funeral for me and it terrifies me, I dont want to die, Im so of it, I dont want to age anymore, Im posting this so I can just get it off my chest, like a journal.I get very emotional thinking about my family members as well,If im emotional right now, I cant even imagine how I will feel when it truly happens, Maybe later on in life, the fear will ease, but right now Its just something I cant stop thinking about
  When people tell me that the afterlife is like before I was born it doesnt make sense to me. Simply because I was unaware, but am now aware. But when I die I will forever be unaware. Never to be aware of my unawareness. It hurts my head thinking about it sometimes. I wish I could stay forever, but I know that its Impossible to do so. I dont want to age anymore, I dont want my family to age anymore.
  I was unaware that i was unaware of anything before my birth. I am painfully aware before my death that I will be unaware of anything after my death this absolutely causes anxiety
  Total lack of self awareness is the condition we all experienced (actually Did NOT experience) for the billion years since the creation of the Universe. So we get a few decades of awareness before we return to oblivion. That is the gift self awareness. As brief as it is, we get a few decades to learn and understand as much about the nature of existence and the Universe as we can, before all that knowledge is lost to the ripples of time.
  The fact that youre going to die is not comparable to the time you spent not being alive before you were born. You write "you were aware of nothing before you were born".Thats exactly what makes it completely different. Thats why you cant feel anxious about it. But now you are aware, and its only natural to be freaked out by the fact that you will with out a doubt die relatively soon and never be aware of anything ever again. You can not comprehend what its like to "not be aware", that makes the whole "you didnt worry before you were born" argument such a load of crap.
  I have borderline personality disorder, It sucks having it because the symptoms are being impulsive, depression and I have always managed to sabotage everything great that was going on in my life
  I have so many regrets I have lost so many amazing relationships because of my disorder I have a box of letters from when i was from a girl who cared so much about me and now that we are grown up she hates me reading those year old letters absolutely destroys me That I ruined such a great thing I cry uncontrollably I dont have anyone to talk to because I have managed to sabotage most my friendships it hurts when people say I am crazy because Im not
  I wish I could go back in time I feel as if it is too late to start friendships or relationships I wanted to be with someone that I grew together with I feel so overwhelmed right now, I dont know what to do I have never felt this down in my life ever I have been crying everyday for almost a week straight
  I hate myself, I feel life wasting away I dont want to die without experiencing the best joy in my life I fucking wish I had someone to talk to but I dont and it is fucking crushing me inside I feel like a fucking loser I know that no one will probably read all of this but it makes me feel a little bit better if I type out my thoughts I just dont know what to do anymore Its hard having borderline personality disorder because people just think youre a crazy asshole psychopath but im not I feel very alone

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